The Monk who does'nt own a Ferrari

zsh ate my output!

2010-09-23T20:33:00.003-04:00

I started using zsh only a week ago at work and I had this annoying problem that wont go away. The thing was that, whenever I executed any Perl script which printed out some text, nothing was displayed on the terminal. If I wrote the output to a file though, I could see the text there, which meant that my script was good, but zsh wont display the output for some reason.

My coworker who had been using the system for a while suggested that I put newlines before and after the output in the print, something like this:

print "\n" . $data . "\n"

This solution worked and I was happy using it once, just once! I knew that this could be fixed, and I did some googling on the internetz about zsh configuration and found out how simple the solution was.

Apparently, by default, zsh is configured to print a carriage return before the prompt. So whenever you print something that doesn't have a newline, the shell will overwrite your output, and thats the reason you dont see it. There are two simple solutions.

First, simply add the line

unsetopt promptcr

to your .zshrc file. All this does is prevents zsh from printing the carriage return before the promt.

The other solution is to add a newline in your PROMPT. That is, in your .zshrc set your PROMPT to something like this:

PROMPT=$'\nAasim%# '

I like the first solution though, and I am sticking with that :)

Bad day

2010-07-30T09:05:00.001-04:00

I was sitting next to a kid and his dad the other day. The kid was drinking coke, and for some reason all of a sudden he just spit it out on the road. A lady who just missed his shot by inches gave his daddy the meanest look who didn't see the crime in the first place and instinctively got furious with his son, like he knew it was his fault. He snatched the kid's coke and yelled at him, 'did u just spit out coke'? (of course the kid did it way too often).. he held the coke at the mouth of the trashcan next to his seat and asked him again, and the kid repeatedly said no. Then the guy looked at me and asked me the same. The kid looked at me with hope, I turned to his dad and replied yes. The coke ended up in the trash, and the kid started looking at me and crying like I was the bad guy! Now I feel like an asshole. I hate kids.

Conversations with PeTA

2010-02-13T12:34:00.001-05:00

PeTA guy: knock knock

Me: who's there

PeTA guy: PeTA guy

Me: What is it?

PeTA guy: Look at this gory video about animal slaughter. Look how brutal that is.

Me: Yeah, so?

PeTA guy: So, don't eat meat. Go vegetarian.

Me: No way. Meat is tasty.

PeTA guy: Ok, how about this. Look at this nude video of Pam Anderson wearing only veggies. How about now?

Pam: What u looking at?

Me: Tell your boobies to stop staring at my eyes!

Pam: No.

Me: Ok, that works for me.

Me: Anyways, PeTA guy, no. Still no. I love meat man!

PeTA guy: Well, you cant ignore this. Eating meat increases your causes of getting cancer, bacterial and viral infections, etc.

Me: So, instead of finding a cure or vaccine for all that, you suggest I just stop eating meat? I am not a quitter like you pussy! STOP slaughtering animals for the sake of making videos man!

PeTA guy: Fuck you!

Me:

PeTA guy: I said fuck you!

Me: Oh, so you're done! great! fuck you too bitch!

Installing Heroku in Ubuntu 9.04 running on Dell Inspiron 1525

2009-11-18T12:44:00.016-05:00

I recently installed Heroku for a personal project I am working on. To be clear, it wasnt pleasant getting Heroku up and running on Ubuntu, as I hit several roadblocks, and all information I needed wasnt present at one single place on the internet. So, I decided to document whatever I did for me and everybody else.

Please note that I tested this only on my Dell Inspiron 1525 laptop on which I am running Ubuntu 9.04.

Updating system

To update the repositories type in:

sudo apt-get update
sudo apt-get install build-essential
Installing rails

You need to have ruby installed on your system
To install ruby, type in:

sudo apt-get install ruby

You can install rails either through gem or apt-get. I installed it using apt-get. You can do that by typing

sudo apt-get install rails
Installing heroku:

For heroku you need to have gem installed, to install gem, using apt-get type:

sudo apt-get install rubygems1.8

Also, before installing heroku you need to install rubydev as directly installing heroku gave me problems. To install rubydev type:

sudo apt-get install ruby1.8-dev

To add the .gem directory to your path type in:

vim ~/.bashrc

At the end of the file type in:

PATH=$PATH:/home/_username_/.gem/ruby/1.8/bin
export PATH
(Replace _username_ with your username)

Now type in

source ~/.bashrc

This will add gem to your path. Now install heroku

now install heroku by typing:

sudo gem install heroku

And you are done! Heroku is installed. You may want to install additional tools needed by heroku, documented as following.

Installing git

To install git on ubuntu type in the following commands. (Courtesy of zobie's blog)

$ sudo apt-get build-dep git-core git-doc libssl-dev
$ wget http://kernel.org/pub/software/scm/git/git-1.6.3.3.tar.gz
$ tar -xzf git-1.6.3.3.tar.gz
$ cd git-1.6.3.3/
$ ./configure
$ make all doc
$ sudo make install install-doc
$ git --version

Installing curl

If you plan to use any api's like that of Twitter, you may want to install curl, which comes in handy.

To install curl, type in:

sudo apt-get install curl

The Hitchhiker's guide to Facebook

2009-11-16T11:26:00.010-05:00

Here is my compilation of 10 Facebook survival tips:

If your spouse/partner uploads a photo or shares a link or updates his/her status, you HAVE to comment on it and like it. If possible, ping your mutual friends on Gtalk and tell them to do the same.
Take all quizzes your friends take, and compete on the statistical quizzes like 'how long do you spend on Facebook in a week'. If the quiz is 'find your celebrity lookalike', retake that quiz as many times you want until you find a celebrity lookalike that you wanted or is better than what your friends got.
Play Farmville. Period.
This one is for the guys. If a female friend uploads a new profile picture, like it. If possible say something nice or witty about how she looks and all, but NEVER comment on the background, not even if there is a Bugatti Veyron in the background. Never do that unless it is a famous monument like the Eiffel Tower, in which case you MUST ask her when she went there, even if you were the one who clicked the photo.
Comment on each photo in your partner's/spouse's album. Say something nice. Sometimes, when you don't know what to say, just write single words like 'nice', 'good', 'cute', etc. Also, if there are any intimate memories you have with any photo, mention it in the comment in an abstruse way such that nobody else understands it (BTW, my take on this: if you didn't want to share the intimate details with other people why did you put it on Facebook in the first place bitch!).
When you are bored and sleepy, use your phone camera to take a closeup of you and put it in your profile pics album. Always caption such photos with what exactly you were thinking at that time. Also, if you are very bored, use Photoshop to apply effects to the photo like sepia, or washout.
Facebook is a tool to track your friends' birthdays. When any of your friend has a birthday, wish him happy birthday on his wall, even if he is your roommate and you just finished the cake from his birthday party and have physically wished him happy birthday. Also, if you are too busy, go to his wall, copy the "Happy Birthday" from the previous wall posts, and paste it. This way you can save some typing.
Facebook is also a very reliable source of news. If something significant happens, someone WILL post that on Facebook. You may comment on it, and express your views. But be careful, as threads with more than 2 comments will soon transform into a debate on something totally unrelated, and you might get thrashed for saying something stupid.
Complain about any modifications Facebook makes to its layout and hate any new features Facebook introduces. Also, this is one of the most important: till date you should have made at least one comment like "I want a dislike button". Always ask Facebook for a dislike button.
This one is for commenting. Replies to posts/comments can be single words. 'lol', 'lmao', 'btw' are words. If you don't know them, Google their meanings, don't ask the commenter what those mean on Facebook. Also, if you want to stop your out-of-control commenting debate with someone who got an A in Philosophy 101 and who doesn't use words like 'lol' or 'btw', use the ultimate debate thrasher comment. Just say, "u r a faggot". After this, you can be rest assured that the debate will end or at least will skew towards a topic you have an expertise in.

Also, here is a bonus tip:

If you are from India/Brazil, you love Orkut and hate Facebook. If you are from the USA or Europe, you are on Facebook and you don't know what Orkut is (unless you have a lot of friends in India/Brazil).

The need for change

2009-09-15T12:30:00.014-04:00

Is there a need for change? The answer to that question is subjective, in the sense that the people who will implement the change will almost each time answer no, and the remaining set will always answer yes. So, who is right? Nobody knows for sure, for there should have been a third neutral entity who could have arbitrated the decision, but since there is none, we can try to rationalize both decisions.

The problem lies with our perception of change. We have confused change with evolution, to the extent that we use the terms interchangeably, which is definitely not the case. Evolution can be considered to be a special kind of change that is imperative and the kind we would want to bring about in ourselves out of our own volition in order to survive. I would call all other types of changes as 'stagnant' changes, in the sense that they are non-evolutionary and only a different way of achieving a particular goal. Though, evolution is imperative, stagnant change is always each time either motivated by envy of an another monetarily or emotionally stronger system, or forced on upon by another dominant system, and thus is unnecessary and not in the best interest of the object the change is imposed on.

The human race is divided into several diverse communities, divided by geographical and cultural boundaries. Each of these communities is constantly evolving, in stages. Each community achieves a certain state of evolution through a path it chooses, and then moves on to the next state. Two different communities can achieve the same state of evolution through totally different means. These communities on the surface would seem to be totally different to each other such that one might seem to be more progressed than the other, but under the skin both the communities would be at the same state of evolution. Now, if a community changes its evolutionary state, it underwent evolutionary change, but for an already evolved community if the change came out of envy of the way some other community evolved, or if a community oppressed it to achieve the evolutionary state the way it did, the change would be stagnant change, because the community would achieve change, but it would be at the same evolutionary state.

We come across stagnant changes in our lives almost everyday, some that we even endorse. Take the case of democracy, so does it really matter if the economy of a country is capitalist or communist or hybrid, or if it has multiparty system or if it has a presidential rule, as long as the country is democratic. So, if a democratic country changes its economy from communist to capitalist, will it have achieved evolution? Take software, does it matter if the software is open sourced or closed sourced as long as it makes our life simpler, does it matter if it was written using a procedural or object oriented language? Is object oriented programming an evolutionary change compared to procedural programming?

Why does the human race keep on inventing the wheel again and again? Where is the next level of governance, when will we get our absolute freedom, when is software's next big thing coming?We need to come up with answers, and step into the next state of evolution rather that looping around in the same. Is there a need for change? Yes, there definitely is, but it is about changing our perception of change. Next time we come across a change, we need to ask ourselves if the change is an evolutionary or a stagnant change, and the answer to the question of change will be much easier to answer.

An effective way to annoy your mom

2009-05-17T01:49:00.006-04:00

The Extended Hug

This is one of the simplest and one of the many effective ways to annoy your mom, and it has worked for me each time I've used it. The extended hug is a long exercise and can be tried anytime you want, but only when mummy is very busy, either doing any of her household chores or while watching her favorite soaps. Here is how it works:

Say, your mom is busy with something, like she is in the kitchen cooking lunch. All you got to do is approach her from the back and give her a hug. While doing so, make sure you engulf both her arms in your hug, and then, just don't let go! At first your mom will probably love your gesture and cuddle in your arms and say something sweet about you, or else, like my mom, might get irritated to death because of getting disturbed while doing her work. Either way, after a while she will expect you to let go, and also will say that aloud, but remember that you should never let go right away, just make the hug a little tighter! Your mom will shrug and agitate and get irritated, but no worries, she still can be irritated longer. She will try to convince you to leave her by telling you that she is cooking food for YOU, or if you don't let go as soon as possible the food will overcook and get bad, but still no need to worry, mom's food never goes bad, she always knows a way to fix it! After her repeated physical or verbal efforts to make you leave her alone, she will use the most effective weapon she has, the one she has used on you since you were born, and uses it on you even today to influence your decisions: negative psychology. After a while she will just act like she is not getting affected by your foolish stunt at all, and that she wont mind even if you stay like that for ever. Of course, we are smart children, and we totally get it that mom is just trying to fool us. Even when your mom acts like she is not affected, don't let go, just hold on for a while longer, and just when your mom is about to lose her patience and you feel the slightest amount of agitation on her body, bend over, and give her a really tight kiss! I swear by all the knowledge of the whole world, your mom will get so annoyed by that, that she will yell out loud at you like she has never before and literally curse you! This is the epitome of her annoyance, and this is the time to let go. Just don't forget your exit strategy.

As in all wars, having a good exit strategy is of prime importance. You cannot just leave your mom and go after all this! You gotta plan your escape. Before you leave, first make sure that you move your mom to such a position where after you leave her, there are no objects like cricket bats in her range. Even after that, before you leave her, just make sure you give her a gentle push so you don't stay even in the range of her arms. The most important part is once you leave her, RUN, and RUN faster out of her sight and then make sure you don't stay in audible range of her voice, and you're done!

Go ahead and try this out if you haven't already, and let me know your experiences. Also, here is a word of caution, don't try this if your mom knows martial arts, or if you are still a kid and your mom is more powerful than you are. Also, during all this make sure you constantly keep talking with your mom, either cracking boring jokes or asking stupid questions or better else dictate her and force her to say something like 'you are the most intelligent person on earth'.

Is God a bad example?

2009-05-10T12:10:00.002-04:00

Be it any religious scripture, it always tells of a God who despises those who waste resources -- don't waste food, don't buy more than you want, don't live in a house that is too big for you when most other people are homeless, don't buy what you don't need.

The same religious scriptures also almost each time tell us how some things in this universe are taboo, that is, we as good human beings should not practice those under any circumstances. Some Gods say that eating pork and drinking wine is bad, some Gods speak against eating non-vegetarian food altogether, some Gods regard the pursuit of wealth as bad.

They say God is all knowing. He knows that all the things He has warned against in His books mean harm to His creation. Now, if God knew that He is not going to allow us to drink alcohol, why did he even create it? If He knew that the pursuit of wealth was bad for us, why did he create wealth? If he knew that a single earth was enough to house us all, why did he create this vastly huge universe? Isn't God being a bit spent thrift here? Isn't He wasting resources?

Why does a God who himself wastes resources like this want his children to not waste them? Isn't God setting a bad example here? Before He warns us to not to waste, shouldn't He stop wasting himself?

Zak Photosynth

2009-01-18T20:37:00.002-05:00

My mom and dad recently shot burst mode photos of my nephew Zaki. It was kinda nice to watch him animated while playing with my parents, but I thought it could have been better. Thats when I decided to create a photosynth of it to make it really alive. Well, the photos were only 10% synthy, so, it didnt turn out quite as expected, but it was nice for starters.

For those who don’t know, Photosynth is a new technology from Microsoft, which is still in its Beta stage. Photosynth stiches similar photos together creating a 3d world. Photosynth was developed by Microsoft Labs and University of Washington. To know more about Photosynth, go to their website here: www.photosynth.net

To see the synth, you will need to download a light plugin for internet explorer.

See my synth with Zaki’s photos here or see it in the frame below (you will need IE and also will have to download a plugin)